Change

It really fascinates me how quickly things change... One moment, the sun is bright and beautiful and you think that everything is going to last, and the next, the hailstones come pelting down on you, and you're left wet and hurt.

Alright, I admit it - I fell for it too - all the promises, the sweet whisperings, the hugs that we just wish would last a little longer. Perhaps that is why the first cut is always the deepest - after the first time, we become more cautious and unwilling to try. We seek for one who loves us more than we love them, because it is so much easier to be loved than to love. We no longer wish to fall.

It is that first love that creates disenchantment - the devastating realisation that love does not last forever. It is like one of those realisations that people have after tragedy has occurred. "But this can't happen to me! OUR relationship was different! It was... more special, WE really could have lasted forever."

So here I sit, mulling over why it happened, how it happened and what I can do to make it stop happening. Still so naive, but unwilling to change, I long for a fairytale romance in which I will eventually get my prince...

Guess Who's Back

GUESS WHO'S BACK? Haha, wow, I really haven't written in AGES! It's awesome feeling the tingles rush down the fingers once again...

Finally in my second-last year of school! In fact, I'm already halfway through - only 17 months of high school left and then it's goodbye work, hello freedom!

Well, sort of! I'll be in university, so it will be SLIGHTLY better... Though if I can possibly get accepted into Ivy League, I'll have more hardship ahead!

I just read over all my previous blogs from 2006... Quite shocking how a person can change, especially when the person is oneself! Gosh, I sounded so naive sometimes. I suppose two years down the line, I'll read this post and say the same thing though =P Still... friends have changed, love has changed, everything I know and thought I knew has changed! Even enemies have changed... and gained in numbers actually. Eish!

Anyways, life is sooo hectic at the moment. Just take tomorrow's schedule for example: Organ at church service from 7:30 to 8:30, piano at church from 9 - 12, band practise from 12 - around 2, then charity meeting from 3 - about 4. THEN I finally get home and have to face some dreaded homework!

Not to mention the fact that I won't even get to practise piano and that is HORRIFIC seeing as the next time I'm playing at Festival is Wednesday and nationals are but a week away =(

I'm soooo stressed! At least I'll have the whole of August to catch up on school work and studying! I hope!

It's pretty ironic but now, I finally understand my parents' views about friendships and dating. Friendships are there for comfort, but it's sooo true that blood is thicker than water. Friends won't always be there. They just parade in and out of your life depending on the importance of your role in their lives. Friends are nice to have, I suppose, but not so vital that one would die without them. I think this is something that becomes true the older one gets.. but as a young teen, even I used to think that friends were the world and that one day, we would all conquer Mars together... that we would be together till the end of time... that our LOVE would last forever.. that HE was THE ONE. Funny, isn't it? =/ I'm so glad now that I haven't started dating.. I would never have the time to commit to a relationship! The poor boy would start forgetting what I look like hahaha...

I suppose I just really wanna get past this year... And next... and THEN I promise that I will go WILD!!! Once and for all!! FINALLY! horray...

easter holidays

stuck at home... every single day here, 5 hours of piano, tv, sleep
wow what a wonderful routine

it's friday the thirteenth again....
ah well

it seems to have brought me quite a lotta luck!
i just miss speaking to someone.. SpecIfIC
haha i think he knows
but good thing he'll never read this
=p

so... what is it when you feel like you're falling for the same old thing all over again
knowing that you're probably going to end up in the same place again
in the same position
but you let yourself fall all the same
because you know that for once, you cannot control this
there is no cure
no solution
none that you can induce at least...

so maybe i'll let myself fall
and i'll gaze up at you
soaring up there like an angel in my heart still

it is finally the HOLIDAYS!! YEAH! although they are still pwetty boring... but neway, after those hectic hectic exams a break is most definitely welcome!! going skating tomoro... haha, waiting in anticipation.. it's kinda scary... won't tell why though.. haha, trust me it JUST IS! but skating still rocks.. oooh i'm excited in a way, haha i'm speaking so funny today so nvm, write another day...
CIAO..
CHEERRRIOOOO!!!

GOOD luck

HEY EVERYONE

just wanna wish everyone now in the exam season good luck for exams WE'LL BE TOGETHER ALL THE WAY!
and to those lucky fishies who are on holiday already... well enjoy and have fun!!

Love yall

ello there!

Life's been sooo cool
it's been pretty hectic at school and stuff...
have this like HUGE PILE of work to catch up
but i'm surviving!!!!
haha

went to gym yesterday
and oh my GOSH
THE GUYS THERE TRAINING IN THE WEIGHTS SECTION ARE SOOO SOOO SOOO TOTALLY DROP DEAD GORGEOUS!!!
haha guess i should be motivated to go to gym more often now!!!
LOL

i might join the choir next year!!
haha
isn't that a horror....
but anywayz
just chilling these days
well TRYING to chill
it's a FRIDAY TODAY!
YES!
WHICH MEANS WE ARE GONNA PARTY...
like WHATEVER
haha, we all have such boring social lives.. i think the last movie i saw was on the plane... the last time i went iceskating was half a year ago.. this last time i went to a party was like a decade ago... hahhaa
oh well
it's fun just spending time with friends.. aww.. gonna be separated for TWO WHOLE DAYS
lol

anywayz
it's the inter catholic on monday
which means SOME PEOPLE get to go and CONFESS THEIR CRUSHES!!
hahahah, *hint hint, nudge, nudge...*
and some other people (like me) should start looking for nice people... cos it seems like we always have these HORRID people talking to us
URGH
haha

u know
lol
whatever

lol.. why am I worrying so much? i guess i just hate it when people don't respond/reply... i start freaking out, and i play these imaginary scenes of what could have happened to them in my mind. i suppose i can be really dramatic sometimes, but... oh well

forget about it... if there is nothing wrong with them.. argh, i'll just have to FREAK out at them, and they'd better not let me worry ever again! haha
Jan's so soooo lucky, to be visiting the USA.. i mean, i'd love to go and see my baby cuz... she's just adorable.. makes me melt!! haha, dun think anyone else can make me do that!
warning to *#*(@#$ (anyone in that matter): DON'T YOU DARE TRY!
haha
i know i'm not making much sense today.. but some people will understand what i'm talking about...
anyways

i love that song stole... it's just so beautiful, it's so sad...
oh, and i think michelle branch rocks!! i LOVE her songs!! especially "all you wanted" and "leap of faith" oh!! and "goodbye to you" in fact, i love all her songs... LOL

i wanna run.. wanna be wild....

oh, btw, i've been skipping 1000 times a day, my calves ACHE!! oh well... i suppose it's good!

15 more days till i leave china... i'll miss my grandparents but i suppose it'll be good.. for them and for me, and everyone else when i leave. at least they won't have to feel as if i can't match up to their expectations...
oh well
i love them still

i really miss some people today. feel like i don't even know them anymore, i haven't talked to them for ages. life i suppose... fate....

hey guys!! oops.. girls... erm.. ya

I miss you guys LOADS AND LOADS!! anyways, been spending the past few weeks at my grandparents place in Shanghai, and i'll be going back to SA soon!!!! well, gonna go back to HRS my old school... hmm.. mixed feelings again.... ><" and den, i'm gonna have to work really really hard to catch up on all the work and stuff so let's just say it's gonna be a tough three months ahead of me before i go on holiday in december!!!!!! YAY! COME DECEMBER... I'LL BE.... OH.. IN MY OWN WORLD OF FANTASY....

<33333333333333's

so many goodbyes.. not knowing when/if you will ever see each other again, parting... but knowing in my heart that I will never forget that smile, that face. And with that smile embedded in my mind, imprinted in my heart, I will have to turn and walk off. Looking back at a sea of faces through teary, blurred faces, trying hard to smile. Faces are blurred yet in my heart, every single one is clear as crystal, bright as stars, you will shine on forever.

Fairytale forever

Life is so weird sometimes, so are friendships. You believe that they will last forever, and you REALLY believe it, until the day that everything collapses, and you just go insane. So insane that you yourself are surprised, that you feel embarrassed that you care so much about that friendship, that you feel very foolish for ever putting your trust into that friendship because all that came to was a betrayal that cut too deep.
I suppose that even though these things happen, we still have to learn to accept what has happened and move on. But it will take a while, it is impossible to just forget in one day. If you can, then probably that friendship never did mean anything. If you don't care, it means that it wasn't even worth being called a friendship.
Even though there is betrayal, even though some friendships break down, I still want to believe in forever, I think I still do, I believe in the good side of humans, and I believe in this world, there are wonderful people, who, as I do, still believe in those fairytale forevers.

erm, psycho les no 3

ever wonder what rejection really feels like? are u supposed to feel hurt, lost, upset or depressed? Isn't it hard when people tell you "Just accept it" "Just move on" Those are all just phrases, we know all that without them telling us, the problem is how to overcome pain, how to actually get over something. One comforting word doesn't help. Although none are worse I suppose.
What is love supposed to feel like? If the feelings we have for the people we like is called love, then shouldn't love have a scale? "I love you more than you" that doesn't make sense does it? There is no limit to love, it is just supposed to be endless. So why can't people love others equally? Because it wouldn't be fair to the one who "should be loved more"?
"To forgive and forget" that's another easy thing to say, but even if people finally forgive, I am sure they never will really forget, even though they say they will. Maybe we can leave it behind us, but to forget it totally, that is really impossible in my opinion.
"Sorry" one of the hardest words to say, yet it comes out of some people's mouths so easily they are so used to saying it they don't even take any notice of it anymore. Maybe people should realise what this word really means and not say it without emotion.
Love, one of the strongest words, although we should tell everyone how much we treasure them, should it be thrown easily? or should it be used rarely for only special things? both are right, we shouldn't hardly ever use it, but we really shouldn't be able to say it to a stranger should we?
Finally, fate, maybe one of the most confusing things. Some people don't believe in fate, but some things are truly just meant to be, or on the 0ther hand, not meant to be. And to quote "Everything happens for a reason" so I suppose we have to take everything as a lesson. Maybe fate is always just trying to teach us some things. We just need to learn, be strong, hold through and come out a better stronger person.

hey hey, well, I'm still in SA and I love the weather here.. there is actually WINTER here!!! hahaha, it's a little cold i suppose but i'm loving it... hahaha, well soooo much has happened but i don't wanna share any of it unfortunately..... errrr... haha, pretty embarrassing, but i met up with friends here and it has been great reuniting with them, i didn't realise how much i missed them..... haha, ok i did, but now i just realise how great it is to be with them!! oh btw, sorry this is kinda late, but just wanna wish Xushuang, Cheryl and Stephie HAPPPPYYY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!! LOVE YA!!!

DEVIL STRIKES

YES! i fixed up my blog! as u can very well see! ok, i have a new idol, Mike He Jun Xiang!! HE IS GORGEOUS! and so "bad-boy" type in Devil Beside You!!! oooooo
Today was a weird day, we were all so emotional... and then what with all the teachers leaving and that touching speech!!! that was soooo sooo TRUE! that there are something that are beyond our control and we should not stress over those things that we cannot change.
TOMORROW IS THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL!!!! YEEEEEES!!! Then I'm leaving to HK on Sunday!!! and then only two more days of waiting, and I get to go back to SA and see my dearie friends there! and....... LOL, nvm.. it's for me to know and y'all to... NOT FIND OUT! x)

I LOVE AARON CARTER!!!!!!

HOT HOT HOT

JESSE MCARTNEY IS HOT!!!!! wheee!!!! HE IS MUCH HOTTER THAN THE OTHER JM.. mmm... haha, Jason Mraz, I know he's not "hot" he is "pretty" but still!!! and i even admit, he is hotter than Orlando Bloom!! hahahahaha

TODAY WAS SO EEEEEEE
I like, was on the MRT with.. hmmhmm.. cough... CXS and she tells me that Legolas in LOTR looked like he was gay with Gimli!! EEEEwwww!! it's a good thing i already don't adore Orlibloom, otherwise... x((((((
and then, we were on the MRT, and these two lil boys get on and they are like 7 i think, and one like, kneels down on the floor near me.. and then like, 1 mins later, when they went further away, she tells me, "I think he was trying to look up your skirt" EEEEWWWWWWWWWWW
LIKE, SHE COULD HAVE TOLD ME THEN!!! EEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sooo happy though!! hahahaha, we have a THREE-DAY LONG WEEKEND!! YES!!!! YIPPPPEEEE!!!!

sooo sweeeeeet

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken, probably more than once, and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. So send this to all of your friends in the next 5 minutes and a miracle will happen tonight. Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot; who calls you back when you hang up on him; who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead; who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats; who holds your hand in front of his friends. Wait for the one who's constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you. Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "..that's her."

JCE PART TWO

haha, anywayz.. then we got into the real fun part... we went iceskating!! Iceskating like, totally totally rox!!! really, like... it's just like flying isn't it.. SH!!! lolllliio!!!! ROFL!! sooo funny!! haha, but really, we just have to spread out our wings and start soaring, and then, it's like, iceskating, is like, the feeling! woW!!amazing! anywayz.. i love skating!!!! LOL!!


Oooo caught such a cuuuute pic of MJ and Huiling! sooo cute!! like their expressions!! lol!


YY's pic is really cutie too right!!



then there is Mag's pic... see, we can see ALL THE DETAILS!! dun worry, i didn't put that one on!! lol, this one is really really really really nice la!!!


YAH, today was sooo soo sooo much fun!! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!! LOL!!!!!

JCE PART ONE
Today was sooo much fun!! hahaz, i got to sleep late, only woke at like, 9am, my mom came back from SA today as well! Then went to Jurong East MRT to meet dearie friendies!! Kah Bian, Xin Yuan and MJ with such a NICE BACKGROUND RIGHT? EVEN NICER IF TAKEN FROM THE OTHER SIDE?!!!

THEN it was like, so freaky, cos like, there was this blind man who kept calling out, and when they first went and offered help, he asked for change, so we gave him

, then he kept on walking around and calling out, so then I went up to him again, and asked "do you need help" and he's all like "but nobody will help me" and then, we realised that he didn't need help in getting anywhere.. he just wanted money.. scary isn't it.. good thing the person in charge of MRT showed up then!



Yah, then we went to lunch!! at.. guess where.... KFC! yay!!


Errr.. finally got Ruici to look at the camera.. lol,


I WONDER WHAT YU YUE AND HUI LING ARE DREAMING ABOUT!!! xD






THen here is Xin Yuan and MJ again!! sooo chio right? xD

ok, then we went to the arcade.. and like.. they are

pro!! lol!!

lol, yesterday was a horrid day... but you wanna know something? hahaahaha... Ms. Lim actually cheered me up.. saying that stuff about "nobody can tell you how much you're worth except yourself" so deep.... "chim"... whatever you guys call it here... lol, yeah..

anywayz... today.. i just broke my ban.. i was supposed to not come online until the 22nd, but as you can see, i did now, hahaz, doesnt matter that much right, i mean, i already didnt come online for almost 5 days, which is more than enough to prove that I AM NOT ADDICTED TO THE INTERNET OR COMPUTER OR WHATEVER!!! YAAAYYYY!!! hahaazzz

lol

Maple is reeeally reeeally FUN!! yay!!! hahaaa... I think it's the first computer game that I actually like!! WHEEEEeeeeee

J8

Heehee, today was soooo much fun! I woke up at 6:45, got to bishan way too early! luckily Steph and Wan Ting soon arrived and Tamae was there too, so we decided to go down to Delifrance to wait instead... hahazz though we got a bit paranoid that the waiter was going to come over to ask us to order, but at least we had somewhere to sit right?!!!.. xDDD

yeeepp.. such a cute photo isn't it!! and such nice comfy seats.... lol

Then ppl started arriving, luckily! and... our fear, was gonna have to be faced..............THE WAITER CAME!!! weelll, then they ordered like, two items to share, aaaaannndddddd
Here is Wan TIng trying to... "cut the croissant in half" lols!! Aren't they sooo cuuuuteee!!!!!!


and THEN!! after eating, and after refusing to go to eat again,,, we went up to the cinema.. only to find, that it was still closed.. and that all the other shops were closed too.. soo much for shopping!!
But we had fun anyway.. we went down to da playground and even started to play freeze and melt.. WE WERE SOOO WINNING!!!! I mean, we caught nearly EVERYONE!!! and we were gonna win.. when the security guard.. came out and gave us a lecture about how we shouldn't play outside the offices and.. even threatened to call the school :((( but i'm sure it was just a threat!! at least, we all hope so!!

Sports fest was kinda boring.. but.. anyway... Charmbu and me played our "poke game" again!! yaayyy... i mean, what else is there to doo... :(
sooo boring!! hehe, at least i have my fwendies to entertain me!!
luvvies!

PYSCHOLOGY LESSON NO???

sometimes, ppl really dislike someone, and it's very difficult. you see, maybe that person isn't really that horrible, but just wants to fit in. In fact, that person wants to fit in so bad, that they try very hard to be accepted. ANd the problem is that they try, TOO HARD. And the harder they try, the more people dislike them, and the more the people dislike them, the harder they try. Terrible isn't it? but what can we do about it... we can't tell them not to try, at least they did try......

Life, why is it so depressing sometimes.. aayyy.... just those days, when u realise that maybe people just want to use you... maybe that's all you're good enough for..and you just want to trip, fall down and melt into the earth. but then, you find the inner strength to get up and u realise, that you are really worth something, even though they do not see it, there will be people who treat you for what you are worth.
People can be cruel, but you must never surrender to them, because that would be like giving them permission to revel in your pain.
So carry on believing that you are great, that you are beautiful, don't ever let them put you down, because you are the best.

Some ppl.. are just so frustrating, why can't they understand, that there is no limit in the amount of friends that one person can have? I mean... they don't have to be so worried that people are going to snatch their friends away from them, when they "snatched away" that friend in the first place... sooo weird.. and sooo possessive!!!! hahaz

It was soo funny on the mrt today.. this woman was sitting there holding her phone against her ear... but she was ASLEEP!!! I really was wondering if anyone was actually talking to her on the phone at that time.. i feel really sorry for that person.. if there was a person!! hehez.. then she woke up, looked out the window and went back to sleep.. still keeping the same position... weird, maybe she is trying to tone her arm or something... hehezzzzzz

First time for everything

Haha, hey ppl, I suppose this is the feeling of um..... first blog?? hehe, it's quite amazing...

I've had such a great week in fact.. who wouldn't? WE ARE ON HOLIDAY!!!! even though we still have to go back to school from time to time..... but who cares!! We get to sleep late every single day!! Which I do... seeing how I refuse to get up before noon!!

Holidays do get a bit boring sometimes though.. there's not much to do... eish, I really wish I could go out, but the glare of the hot Singapore sun... it's enough to keep me indoors!! People say that Africa is hot.. well, I think South Africa is nothing compared to Singapore!! Haha, why am I talking about weather? Sooo boring....

Oh well... I'll leave it at that boring note.. too bad there's "no climax in my short story" sorry to disappoint!! hehe
Cheers!!